Review: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse

How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse by J.H. Simon
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Melissa's Musings

Narcisissm is an ugly beast.The reason I decided to enter the giveaway for this book in the first place is because there are some people in my life who display narcissistic tendencies, and I'm sure I've been affected by them. So, I was looking for information on how to resolve some of the issues my experiences with these people have created for me.

 While the author does an okay (albeit overly repetitive) job of explaining the cycle of the narcissist and their shame feeding cycle, this book left me feeling disappointed. There is entirely too much repetition of how a narcissist pulls in a "target" shames them, ridicules them, gives them a little bit of love to keep them coming back and then starts the process all over again.

I had a feeling that I might not enjoy this quite so much when there was an actual clarifying sentence in the book that this book was not actually about killing someone. That killed the hope for me. If you have to take time to clarify that, it seems that you're making the assumption that readers aren't intelligent enough to figure that out themselves.

I was hoping that this would focus more on how to overcome the influence of a narcissist, and how to heal from that, since that's what the main claim of the book is. But, it feels like this portion of the book was shortchanged. The information is very general, and not supported by discernible research. The author also doesn't appear to have any formal credentials of their own, which may account for the lack of research.

There is a list of resources at the back of the book, which I appreciated, but I recall only maybe one or two of these being mentioned.

My attention started to wane around page 90. I pushed through because I was curious to see the practices that were going to be explored for the purposes of healing.

Again, these are very general and simplistic. The tone of the book felt very pushy, rather than informative.

If you don't have much experience with narcissim, and are looking for a general place to start, and an easy read you might try this. But, if you're looking for concrete research, or more than general platitudes, this isn't the book for you.

Does anyone have any other books they'd recommend? Or personal experiences they'd like to share on the subject?

*Please note, I won a copy of this book via Goodreads Giveaways.*

Book Review: The Rockin' Chair

Title: The Rockin' Chair

Author: Steven Manchester

Publisher: The Story Plant

Published: June 25, 2013

Format: Kindle

Pages: 272

Source: Received from the publisher

in exchange for an honest review

Read: September 23, 2013

Genre: Contemporary

In A Few Words: Poignant

My Rating: 5 Stars

Goodreads: Add This To Your To-Read Shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

Memories are the ultimate contradiction. They can warm us on our coldest days or they can freeze a loved one out of our lives forever. The McCarthy family has a trove of warm memories. Of innocent first kisses. Of sumptuous family meals. Of wondrous lessons learned at the foot of a rocking chair. But they also have had their share of icy ones. Of words that can never be unsaid. Of choices that can never be unmade. Of actions that can never be undone.

Following the death of his beloved wife, John McCarthy Grandpa John calls his family back home. It is time for them to face the memories they have made, both warm and cold. Only then can they move beyond them and into the future.

A rich portrait of a family at a crossroad, THE ROCKIN' CHAIR is Steven Manchester’s most heartfelt and emotionally engaging novel to date. If family matters to you, it is a story you must read

Melissa's Musings:

This is the 2nd book I've read by Steven Manchester. His first, Twelve Months, pulled me in from the very first page. The Rockin' Chair is no different. I don't know quite how he does it, but Manchester manages to create a world that the reader is immediately pulled into from the very first sentence. I settled in instantly, already feeling at home with the family from the start.

This book deals with some tough issues.

 At the forefront, we have John, the family patriarch. He's a beloved grandfather, a father, a hard worker, a devoted husband. We watch as he struggles with watching his wife Alice lose her memories to Alzheimers.

The relatioship between Alice and John is beautiful. The kind that most of us dream to have. Where someone loves us so much that they will take care of us through anything, no matter how difficult life gets.

 Upon Alice's death he calls his family back to his farm in Montana.  We watch as he pieces the family back together again, using memories. Some lighthearted and positive, some not so happy. He helps his grandchildren deal with some of their inner demons.

 Evan ran away from the farm, eager to get away from his abusive father and small town life. He was hoping to settle down with a girl who he thought he loved, who only turned around to break his heart by cheating on him. George, a war veteran whose time at war caused him to make some decisions that he wasn't proud of, is still fighting, even though he's returned home. Only now he's fighting to come to peace with himself. And Tara, who left for New York hoping to make it big, only to fall to the temptation of drugs and alcohol, who knows she needs to change her ways for her young daughter.

It's an emotional journey as you read on to discover how John manages to help each one of his family members. Painful as it is to relive some of these memories that John helps each family member recall, there are lessons in each of them. He even manages to bring some peace and redemption to himself, and repair his relationship with his son Hank.

The rocking chair that the story's title comes from is a central part of the story. It has an intimate significance to the bond that the family shares. The idea of a rocking chair holds different memories and ideals for each of the characters throughout the story. One thing I've noticed is that each of Manchester's recent books features a chair/chairs on the cover. 

 This book had me in tears several times over the course of reading it. I devoured it in a few hours. Even though the story was resolved well, it still left me wanting more. I can't wait more from this talented author.

Review: Traveling For Love

Hello fellow readers!

Welcome to my stop on the Traveling For Love blog tour. Read on to learn more about the book, and my thoughts on the story.

Title: Traveling For Love: Searching For Self, Hoping For Love

Author: Becky Due

Publisher: Telemachus Press

Published: December 2011

Pages: 178

Format: Paperback

Source: Received in exchange for an honest review

My Rating: 4 Stars

Synopsis: 

When her husband tells her, he wants a divorce, Amanda realizes she no longer knows who she is-her life revolved around her husband. At forty, she finds herself divorced, childless, living in an apartment with a roommate, with little education and no career path. Amanda starts dating, finds employment as a travel agent, and begins the search of finding herself and-with a little luck-the right man

Melissa's Musings:

This pulled me in from the start. The writing flows well, and it's easy to feel for Amanda as she has to figure out who she is and what she wants after her divorce.

The romance between her and Sam is quick and intense. Sometimes in stories when the romance happens quickly it can be bothersome, but that isn't the case here. Sam and Amanda's relationship is not very deep, although Amanda feels like it is. Sam just doesn't give her much, and through him she realizes she deserves better. 

I really liked the idea of Amanda picking out a new necklace for herself with each trip she takes, to represent where she is in her life and the what the trip means to her. That's something I'd like to do sometime, although I'm really picky about jewelery and symbolism, so it would probably take me forever to find the right thing. For Amanda they just seem to fall into her hands almost instantly. It would be nice to have pieces in my own collection that mean as much as the ones in the story do to Amanda.

Amanda's fling with John is quick, but still nice. He whines and dines her and treats her like she deserves. I rooted for John because he seems like such a nice guy. After her fling with John, Amanda questions whether or not she is  a "vacation whore" I laughed when I read it because it seemed so silly, but there was a seed of truth to it, so the term works well.

And then there's Grant. He seems to good to be true. I liked the initial wall between them that eventually gets broken down. Amanda and Grant work really well together. They laugh, they have fun, they share interests, they connect.

Throughout the story there's a lot of growth on Amanda's part, which is great. It's nice as the reader to see a woman sticking up for herself and not being afraid to be alone and figure out what she really wants out of life.

 The only cautionary note I have is one for people who are hesitant about intimate scenes. There are some semi graphic sex scenes in this novel, so be warned if those make you uncomfortable. The romance is fast, and the ending wraps up neatly, but I thoroughly enjoyed the story and am looking forward to reading more from this author.

Have you read Traveling For Love? If you could go on a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Author Interview: Louise Helene

Hello fellow readers!

Today I'm thrilled to welcome Louise Helene, author of I Saw Your Future and He's Not It: A  Psychic's Guide to True Love to Melissa's Midnight Musings. Read on to learn more about this author and her book.

About I Saw Your Future and He's Not It: A Psychic's Guide to True Love

Title: I Saw Your Future and He's Not It: A Psychic's Guide to True Love

Author: Louise Helene

Publisher: Llewellyn Publications

Published: January 8, 2013

Genre: Non-Fiction

Format: Paperback

Pages: 244 pages

Synopsis:

How does my guy feel about me? Is there another woman? Could he be "the one"? The answers to love's toughest questions may be lie in your own heart. This utterly unique book empowers women to take control of their love lives by tapping into their own intuition.

Psychic Louise Helene, who has advised women on matters of the heart for thirty years, shares powerful lessons and wisdom with the rest of us. True stories from her consultations--hilarious misunderstandings, painful mistakes, and true connections--highlight how intuition can guide you through the toughest relationship problems. Through simple exercises, you'll learn how to develop your own psychic edge to navigate the murky waters of love and romance.

The Interview:

Please tell us a little bit about yourself. Do you have any unusual talents or hobbies?

I have been a psychic advisor for over 30 years.  My mother was a Spiritualist minister, and encouraged me to give my first reading when I was 12 years old.  I studied under her reading of the crystal ball, tarot cards, and many other ways to connect to the psychic realm.  I have a special psychic connection to animals, and help their owners connect with them on an emotional level.

When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer?

I have always wanted to write.  In one of my past lives I was a newspaper reporter.

Where did the inspiration for I Saw Your Future and He's Not It come from?

Several of my clients suggested I write a book to help guide women in their relationships.  Some of them have said they were going to use it as their “manual for love”.

What made you choose to write a book of this type?

Romance is my expertise.  I talk to women every day that need help navigating their love life.  With the Psychic Edge exercises in my book I hope to put the power in their hands so they can help themselves.

This book is meant to help empower women as they navigate the tricky subject of love. What do you think is most empowering to women who are already in relationships? Do you think that the thing(s) that are most empowering to a woman in a relationship are the same as those of a single woman?

Developing our own intuition is the most powerful tool that any woman can have, whether in a relationship or looking for one.  Once a woman develops her intuition she must then learn to listen to it.  So many times women ignore their “gut” feeling, only to be sorry later.  Challenges in love arise in life, no matter what our status, and intuition is our most powerful weapon to guide us through.  

Who is your favorite author?

Jane Austin

Do you have writing routine? A special pen, a certain type of music, time limits?

I always write my first draft in longhand with a pen my mother gave me years ago.  She was a very gifted writer, and when I use this pen I feel her spirit with me.

Do you enjoy edits/rewrites, or not?

I don’t like rewrites; luckily I haven’t had to do them often.

Do you do a lot of external research in the process of writing? If so, what's the most interesting thing you've uncovered in your research?

My niece Kim Osborn Sullivan loves statistics and research so she handles all of this for me.  There is a section in “I Saw Your Future and He’s Not It” called JUST THE FACTS and Kim did a great job on this part of the book.

How did you choose pseudonyms to protect your clients’ identities?

I have a large family and all were happy to lend their names to be used in the book.

Please tell us a little bit about your journey to publication.

I had a dream, prior to finding a publisher, that the first publishing company I approached would publish my book.  This is exactly what happened.  My road to publication was seamless, just as my dream had predicted.

What is the hardest part of being a writer?

The hardest part about writing is budgeting my time, as I have a very busy schedule.  My clients keep me busy, so sometimes I barely have time to write.

Are there any common themes that you feel are particularly important to write about?

Love and intuition, we can never have enough of both.  True love is what we long for, and intuition is what helps us find it.

When you're not writing, what are your other hobbies/passions?

I enjoy playing the guitar and piano.  My little troop of formally stray cats, and dog Gigi are a captive audience when I play and write music.  I am passionate about animal rescue, and being a good steward of the earth.

Are you working on any new projects?

Yes, I am collaborating on two books one fiction, and one non-fiction.

Quick Fire round:

Coke or Pepsi?  

Coke

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

Rainy winter days or blazing hot summer days?

Rainy winter days

Hard Copy or e-book?

Hard Copy

Favorite book?

Gone With The Wind

Last book you read?

Marley and Me

What's a quote that inspires you?

The only real valuable thing is intuition by Albert Einstein

What's your favorite comfort food?

Chocolate Cake

About Louise Helene:

Louise Helene is a second-generation psychic, Tarot reader, and crystal ball gazer who has conducted thousands of readings during her thirty-year career as a spiritual advisor. She is the co-author of I Saw Your Future and He’s Not It: A Psychic’s Guide to True Love, a women's intuitive dating and relationship guide. Louise resides in the Greater Chicago area. www.louisehelenethepsychic.com

Blog Tour Stop: Review: The Eighth Wonder

Hello Fellow Readers!

 Today I'm happy to be bringing you my review of The Eighth Wonder by Kimberly S. Young

Title: The Eighth Wonder

Author: Kimberly S. Young

Publisher: AuthorHouse

Published: February 2, 2012

Source: Received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

Synopsis:

Nicole Benson is a self-made woman. She put herself through school, sacrificing marriage and children for her career. In the summer of 1997, at the age of 35, she finally graduated with a Ph.D. from NYU, but her life is thrust into chaos when her father, the only person she's ever leaned on emotionally, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. After fifteen years in New York City, Nicole leaves everything and everyone she knows to teach for a year in Bradford, Pennsylvania to be close to her father in nearby Buffalo. Now, trapped in tiny Bradford, she has never felt more alone in her life. . . until she meets Tom Ryan. At 44, Tom represents what Nicole longs to be: settled, secure, and clear about his purpose and direction in life. Emotionally scarred, he and his wife of 23 years survived the death of their daughter to leukemia. Tom and Nicole's story begins as a journey of self-discovery for both of them but turns to bittersweet tragedy when their friendship becomes love. Nicole risks offering what she has never given before, her heart; and Tom has never felt happier or more conflicted when he falls in love for the second time in his life. Their lives become intertwined and changed forever when they both must face the most difficult decision of their lives.

My Rating: 4 Stars

Melissa's Musings:

I was immediately pulled in to the story from the first line, curious to know who "he"is. The relationship between Tom and Nicole is slow, gradual, and just right. 

Nicole is a bit of a drifter, afraid of committment, unsure of what she really wants to do with herself. I think part of this is due to the fact that her mother left their family when she  was a teenager. That's a blow to any child, no matter how old you are. And I can definitely see why she would be afraid of committment if one of the people who was supposed to be there for you, no matter what, up and left.

Tom is married, but he and his wife have drifted apart since their daughter Lisa, died of Leukemia. One thing that was a little grating about his character was the way he was constantly repeating things and questioning why he was cheating on his wife. It wasn't the fact that he was questioning it, that was actually nice to see, it was just the manner in which he was doing it. More the language than anything. I don't know if I was misreading the voice, or if this was done intentionally, but it felt like Tom's dialogue was a lot more stiff than Nicole's.  Nicole's had rough edges too, at times, but Tom's seemed a bit more formal than hers.

As I mentioned, the romance between Tom and Nicole is very sweet, and not rushed. It's a bit of a secret, as they live in a small town. The one thing I particularly like is that the author went in another direction with this in regards to the affair itself. Usually, there's some big blow up where the wife finds out and is extremely angry, and the lover is scorned.

In this case, that doesn't happen. You do get so involved in Tom and Nicole's relationship though that you wonder why they did it if they knew it would just cause them to hurt when it was all over. But, as I mentioned, it is just right.  I won't say what happens but I will say this story certainly doesn't have a typical fairytale ending. The ending does serve it's purpose though, even though you may be rooting for something different

I was invested enough in the book and the relationship that I even shed a few tears at the end of the story, so this may be perfect for someone who needs a little cry.

Nicole's character grows a lot throughout the book and it's nice to see her be comfortable in her own skin. There are also some great secondary characters in the story as well. Quite the mix of a New York socialit (of sorts) Carol, an eccentric professor from England, and others along the way.

There are also a lot of beautiful encounters with and descriptions of nature within the book. It really made me feel as if I were in the story with the characters.

I'd recommend this to anyone who likes a simple romance story that will stop and make you ponder just how each decision you make will affect your life.

Review: The Wedding Cake Girl

Title: The Wedding Cake Girl

Author: Anne Pfeffer

Publisher: Bold Print Press

Published: July 24, 2012

Format:  PDF

Genre: YA

Pages: 255

Source:  Won in a giveaway @Getting Your Read On

Read: January 6, 2013

In A Few Words: Simple yet engaging

My Rating: 4 Stars

Goodreads: Add To Your TBR shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

Seventeen year old Alexandra spends so much time helping others realize their dreams that she never has time for her own. An expert ocean diver and reluctant maker of wedding cakes, she longs to leave roses and frosting behind to study oceanography. Alex’s mother won’t have it—needy and dependent, Mom can’t run the family wedding cake business on her own.

No matter what Alex does, things only get worse for her. When she risks her life to save a tourist while scuba diving and becomes the local hero, Mom's angry with Alex for going diving at all. Mom also discourages Alex's new friendship with the insanely wealthy Jeremy, a fun boy with a secret. Then, Alex's best friend, Zack, a hunky island guy, starts to take an interest in her as well. The problem is, he's dating another girl.

As Alex struggles to learn where she stands between her two difficult and confusing Prince Charmings, it occurs to her that maybe what she really needs is a Prince Charming for Mom. If she doesn't do something, she will make cakes all her life and die in her "Sue's Wedding Cakery" apron with a spatula in her hand.

This story features a colorful island setting, dangerous underwater diving adventures,a family of billionaires, and lots and lots of buttercream. It is Alex's journey toward not only finding love, but learning how to step forward and take control of her own life, a rite of passage that faces all young readers.

Melissa's Musings:

This was a great story. I got pulled in right away, primarily because the dialogue flows so easily, you're quick to get wrapped up in the story. Right away we meet Alex, a girl with big dreams, to study marine life, but who has a mom that just can't seem to get it together.

I have to admit I felt really sorry for Alex. Here she is, at 17, with big dreams, of going to college to do what she loves, and at the same time she's hesitant to leave because she doesn't think her mom will make it without her. And at first, as the reader, I thought she might not make it either. The more I read though, the angrier at Alex's mom I became. She was so self involved, and so... just plain rude to Alex I found myself thinking at one point "man, her mom is a leech." 

She takes Alex for granted, and what's worse, she almost ruins opportunities for Alex by refusing to help her. First it's by refusing to pay for her to attend a summer course to help set up her senior thesis. Then, it's by telling her that she won't give her a  ride to attend a wedding that she's been asked to help out at. (The reason why she's been asked to help out is a major plot point so I don't want to spoil it.)

But, the thing about Alex is that she's determined. Her mom won't help? Fine. She'll do it herself. She makes it to that wedding and that sets the course for the rest of the story. Alex is a strong character, which is always a good thing and I would say in this case, necessary, in order for her to be able to deal with her mother.

 Alex also stands up for herself and her principles which is nice to see. There's a point in the book where her and her friend Zack become romantially involved, and she feels like she may be ready to have sex with him. (There are a lot of factors to this, including other characters, and again I don't want to ruin it.) But, as time goes on, she realizes she's not ready and she lets him know that. Zack is disappointed, but Alex stands her ground and that's something I really enjoyed.

Alex also grows a lot personally. She turns her dislike for the wedding cake business into a skill that works for her and allows her to live out her dream for her senior year the way she wants it to be. She learns to take more risks and it's nice to see her enjoying the benefits.

Overall this is a great story. It's wonderfully written and you are immediately drawn to the characters. And anyways, any story that has wedding cake in it can't be bad.

-Keeping Score: A Guide to Love and Relationships Review + Giveaway

Title: Keeping Score: A Guide to Love and Relationships 

Author: Marc Brackett

Genre: Non-Fiction

Publisher: Self-Published

Published: July 1, 2012

Format: Paperback

Pages: 128

Source: Received from the author in

exchange for an honest review

Read: December 7, 2012

In A Few Words: Has good analogies

My Rating: 4 Stars

Goodreads: Add to Your TBR Shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

It's a relationship book even a man will read.

Keeping Score provides a relationship evaluation quiz followed by a common sense guide for relationship improvement, all with a humorous twist. You can determine if your relationship has the qualities it takes for a successful marriage and lasting love affair.

If you're single- read this book to see how well your potential life partner measures up. If you're married- read this book to reduce conflict and increase your happiness.

Take control and shape your union into a relationship that will stand the trials of life and go the distance

Melissa's Musings:

This book is very straightforward and to the point. The basic idea behind the book, at least my understanding of what the author is trying to present is that it's easy to score the compatibility of two people based on a number of different factors, which there are several questions to in each section. It then gives the reader some suggestions on how to work on certain areas where you and your partner may be less than ideally matched. 

I really appreciated that the author realized that some issues in a relationship, like trust, are subjective, and there is no "one size fits all" answer to issues in these types of areas of a relationship. The author gives general suggestions in this area and leaves the rest of working through these issues to the couple.

One thing that I found a little disappointing was that some of the questions were only yes/no, one option or the other, without a middle option, when the question could have benefited from that. One of the questions that was like this was a question on religious beliefs. The question is : 

Have you and your partner resolved in what faith any children you may have will be raised?" Then it's a straight yes or no answer, with no middle ground for people who may not participate in religion at all.

I understand why these are closed ended, yes/no questions. It makes them easier to score. The desire for middle ground answers is more a personal preference than a flaw in the book itself.

I also find it very interesting that this book is written by a male author. This is just a general observation, but most of these types of books, or at least all the ones I've read have been authored by women. It's refreshing to see these issues from a male perspective for a change.

I do agree with the claim that the synopsis makes, that this is a book that even a man will read. I know my boyfriend would walk through this is I asked him to.  The analogies are personable, easy to relate to, and make good sense. The issues that come up in relationships are addressed from both the male and female perspective.

One little change that I would have made to the book would be to have tried to change the scenarios/situations up at least slightly from the male and female sides. The questions and situations are copied word for word for each. I understand the reasoning behind it, it just got to be a bit boring reading it all the way through. I think it would be a little more engaging to see the material presented in a slightly different light for both sides, or at least the questions asked in a different way for each.

Overall, this is an excellent book that hits on many of the key elements that need to be addressed and worked on in a relationship and this gives the reader the system to help you figure out which areas might need work. The charts are easy to use and there are example individuals in the back of the book to help you figure out how to analyze your scores.

Giveaway Time!

When Marc contacted me about doing a review, he very generously offered and sent along two additional  paperback copies of Keeping Score: A Guide to Love and Relationships when he sent my review copy so that I could do a giveaway for my readers. Thanks Marc!

Giveaway Rules:

The giveaway will be limited to US ONLY as I'm sending the books myself 

You do NOT have to be a follower of this blog to enter. Anyone who chooses to follow is appreciated.

This giveaway will follow the guidelines outlined in my Review Policy located at the top of the blog.
Winners will be notified by email and will have 48 hours to respond before alternate winners are chosen.
This giveaway will run from December 19 2012 to January 3, 2013 at 12:00 am Pacific Time
There are NO Mandatory entries, do as many as you like

Enter Below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Christmas in Wine Country *Contains Mild Spoilers* *Edited To Add...*

Title: Christmas In Wine Country

Author: Addison Westlake

Publisher: Self Published

Published: November 18, 2012

Format: Kindle

Pages: 390

Source: Received from the author

in exchange for an honest review

Read: December 10-11, 2012

In  A Few Words: Sweet, Romantic,

My Rating: 4 Stars

Goodreads:  Add This To Your TBR Shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

It's Lila's big debut as an event planner and the company holiday party is going to be her chance to shine. At a Tuscan-style vineyard near the Northern California coast in the perfect little black dress she's sure to impress commitment-phobe Phillip. What could go wrong?

Seventy-two hours later with no job and no boyfriend, Lila finds herself with all kinds of answers to that question. Like mistaking the glowering Jake Endicott of Endicott Vineyards for the groundskeeper. Or a new video on YouTube featuring Lila pawing her way through drunken karaoke of "Hungry Like the Wolf."

Solo on the romantic holiday getaway she'd booked for her and Phillip near the vineyard, Lila at least gets to visit with her old friend Annie who lives nearby in the coastal town of Redwood Cove. Drawn into the local bookstore with gleaming wooden floors and welcoming armchairs, Lila chats with the owner and impulsively accepts a job offer.

Sleepy, misty Redwood Cove is the perfect place for Lila to take a break from her horrible track record with guys. The only one she finds even remotely attractive knows her as the holiday party crazy lady. Ranked in Bay Area magazine's 10 hottest bachelors, Jake Endicott is just the type Old Lila would have wasted years pining after.

Join Lila on her year of comedy, adventure and self-discovery on the Northern California coast, with all kinds of ups, downs and misadventures and a full cast of small-town wine country characters. Thankfully, even the greatest misunderstandings can all be worked out with a little Frank Sinatra and mistletoe.

Melissa's Musings:

*EDITED: All profits for Addison Westlake's book sales this month will go to charity to help the victims of the CT school shooting**

Christmas in Wine Country is wonderfully funny, sweet, always brimming with one kind of adventure or another.

Lila is a 28 year old woman who is stuck in a job that she doesn't like, dating a man that barely even acknowledges her presence,  and barely living life outside of her job. Then in one drunken, karoke filled evening, she loses her job, her semi-relationship and is forced to finally make some real choices about what she wants to do with herself and her life.

She drags herself to a B&B that she had reserved for her and her boyfriend's holiday getaway. While there she wanders into a charming book shop named Cover to Cover. After talking with the owner, she is hired on the spot, and with that she leaves big city life for small town life.

I admired Lila's guts in making the move to Redwood Cove. I think everyone wishes they could make moves like this, completely transform themselves, start over somewhere new. It has to be fun to do, and Lila really seems to enjoy herself.

She embraces being single for a while, giving herself time to get over Phillip. He's a huge jerk, and easily the least likeable character in the story. He tells Lila that they were never really dating and that he and a woman named Axcell are ready to take things to a new level. I laughed every time I read the name because I kept thinking about the computer program.

The surrounding characters in this story are so much fun. There's Lila's loving, patient, wise Gram, who always knows just what to say. Then there's Annie, Lila's college roomate, who supports her, but also gives her healthy doses of reality when she needs it. There's also Zoe, whose a lot of fun. She's a yoga teacher in Red Cove, who's very into naturalistic thought and ways of life.  And there's also Godfrey, a somewhat dramatic, (but well meaning) co-worker from the bookstore.

I think Zoe is actually my favorite of the characters because she's got this double persona. You mainly read about her as hippie-ish, vegan, yoga teacher Zoe. But about halfway through you learn that she grew up in the privileged lifestyle and used to be a debutante. It just goes to to show that not everyone is what they seem and they don't always keep the same path that they start life out on.

The same is true for Lila's love interest in the story, Jake. She assumes that he grew up in the hills of wine country, when in reality he grew up with a single mother who died of breast cancer when he was a teenager and a father who sent him to boarding school.

The romance between he and Lila is perfect. Definitely not insta-love, (their first meeting definitely does not go smoothly) the tension throughout their relationship is the perfect balance of nice moments and awkward ones, as they start the complicated dance of trying to figure out just what they are to each other. They definitely have their work cut out for them with interfering presences like Vanessa (I'll just let you discover her for yourselves) and some serious misunderstandings.

In addition to the great characters, there's also great food. Lila learns to cook and goes through periods of making soups and desserts, most of which sound delicious. I'm always a sucker for books with food. A book about food and a bookstore? Even better.

The overall message of the book is about embracing life, and doing what makes you happy. It's also about following your dreams, sticking up for yourself, and letting yourself be comfortable with who you are and what you want out of life. It teaches the reader that you don't have to let other people's perception of you or what you do for a living make you feel any less worthy. As long as you love what you're doing (and isn't that what we all really want anyway) then the title really doesn't matter, and who cares if you don't fit in to the cookie cutter world of fancy job titles or marketing?

I'd rather be passionate about what I do than a person who's only in their job for the money any day and Lila becomes just that. Passionate, happy, and sure of herself.

This is the perfect holiday comfort read.

Moonlight Dancer by Deb Atwood

Title: Moonlight Dancer

Author: Deb Atwood

Publisher: New Potato Press

Published:  August 13 2012

Format: E-book/Kindle

Pages: 283

Source: Received from the author

in exchange for an honest review

Read: November 10-12 2012

In A Few Words:  Unique and detailed

My Rating: 4 stars

Goodreads: Add This to Your TBR Shelf

Goodreads Synopsis: 

Kendra JinJu MacGregor can resist neither the antique Korean doll in the dusty warehouse nor the handsome Hiro Peretti who sells it to her.

Once she brings the doll home, Kendra pays little attention to misplaced objects or her beloved dog’s fear. That is, until one terrifying night forces her to question her very sanity. Soon, the ethereal, brooding NanJu manifests herself, and Kendra begins her travels through time to 16th century Korea into a history of conflict and intrigue. For Kendra is about to discover the dark past of her ghostly visitor.

Now it’s up to Kendra, with Hiro by her side, to interpret the past and prevent murder. Everything depends upon Kendra’s success, even—she discovers to her horror—her own life

Melissa's Musings:

A few months ago, Deb Atwood stopped by Melissa's Midnight Musings to talk about the lessons we can learn from ghosts. After reading Moonlight Dancer, I can see that these lessons can sometimes be pretty painful, but also liberating in a way.

Moonlight Dancer isn't quite what I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be a straight time travel story, but it's much more than that. It's historical fiction, romance, and paranormal all rolled into one.

 The story starts out with Kendra, a seemingly typical college student browsing a storewith her friend, and finding herself drawn to a doll she sees on the shelves. That's not quite all she's drawn to, though, as the shop assistant, Hiro, also catches her eye. For some strange reason, Kendra cannot stop thinking about the doll she sees. So, she goes back to the store. She decides to spend her upcoming semesters' tuition money on this doll. She takes the doll home, and at first, it's just a doll. But then, things start happening. She narrowly misses being in a fatal car accident because the doll traps her in the house. Then, she starts getting unusual  visions of a distant past, she starts observing the life of a 16th century Korean woman named Nanju. These visions hit her hard, and land her in some serious trouble, including a brief stay in a psychiatric facility. She must go on a journey not only to save herself but also to bring peace to the ghosts of the past.

The time travel element in this is really well done. The fact that Kendra is experiencing these images of the past while remaining in the present is an aspect that I really liked about this book. It works really well to weave the past and present together in this way, and sets up the events in the book nicely. I'm glad that it was set up this way rather than just having Kendra get pulled into the past and having to find her way back by the end of the novel. 

The romance between Hiro and Kendra is nice too. It's not insta love, which I appreciated. It also has ups and downs. Hiro and Kendra fight, and disagree, and while they do end up together, it's done in a way that isn't overly cheesy. They play the cat and mouse game at times, each of them playing a bit hard to get, finding reasons to see each other. Then they bond over the myriad of experiences regarding the doll, some of them really dangerous. It's interesting to watch how their relationship ebbs and flows around what's happening with Nanju's spirit. Hiro is initially intrigued by the idea of the ghost, and tells Kendra to help her, to bring her peace. Then as things start to get dangerous he gets nervous about her involvement, but she's committed to finding out what happens, and they argue over the situation. Hiro thinks its' too dangerous because Nanju's spirit is taking over, and he wants her to stop, but Kendra has become too involved, too attached to stop and so they part ways for a time. In the end, Hiro ultimately supports Kendra in what she has to do to bring peace to Nanju's spirit.

There are some inconsistencies with Kendra's personality and how her and Hiro's relationship progresses, which I didn't quite like. For instance, she tells him that she was drugged at a party and presumes that something might have happened to her, so she's sworn off men. Then, within the next few scenes, she ends up kissing Hiro and they end up in bed together.

 I  do have to say that the scenes involving intimate moments are very tastefully written. I also have to say I appreciate the authors view on safe sex, and incorporating that into the story. It's as simple as "Hiro takes a condom out of his wallet and..." And that's all that's needed really. It's just not often that you see scenes like that written into books, a lot of the time it's left to the reader to assume.

There is a great deal of information about Korean culture embedded in the storyline of this book. I learned a lot while reading, and it shows that the author did her homework. There are a  lot of scenes involving Korean culture and traditions, which are very detailed and easily imagined as you're reading. The only thing that I wish there had been in regards to this is a glossary of the Korean words at the back. There were some translations immediately following the words, but some were left out, so a dictionary at the back might have been helpful. Reading this also made me want to look further into the concept of automatic writing. Kendra does this when Nanju's spirit takes over, and it seems like a really cool concept, that's definitely worth looking into.

The setting was slightly familiar, as this is set in the California Bay Area. I grew up in the Bay Area so seeing familiar town names and imagining locales for some of these places was fun to do while I read.

Kendra's growth as a character has more to do with her letting people in than anything else. Since the death of her father she has held herself closed off to people, and forming relationships, because people always leave her as she says, specifically men. It takes a while, but she does learn to let Hiro in completely (not just in the physical sense) so that is nice to see. And Hiro, even with his troubled past is able to let go of some of his control to let Kendra in, so they really balance each other out nicely.

This is a book that is richly steeped in culture, relationships and love.

Review: Misfortune Cookie by Michele Gorman

Title:  Misfortune Cookie

Author:  Michele Gorman

Publisher:  Self-Published

Published: March 22 2012

Format: E-book

Pages: 198

Source: Provided by the author

in exchange for an honest review

Read:  July 25-26

In A Few Words: A sweet, fun,  adventure

My Rating: 4 solid stars

Goodreads: Add it to your to-read shelf

Goodreads   Synopsis:

Would you move 6,000 miles to be with the love of your life?
Hannah did. Unfortunately her plan isn't going terribly well. What was supposed to be a move to Hong Kong to start a wonderful new life with Sam is turning into a move to Hong Kong to spend occasional weekends with Sam, when he can get away from an unanticipated work assignment on the opposite side of the South China Sea. Still, she's optimistic, if woefully unprepared for the intricacies of Hong Kong. Stumbling through the alien city, which she loves, she starts to build a life for herself. Things definitely look up when she finds a great boss to work for, and her best friend Stacy moves to the city too. But alarm bells ring as Sam seems to be getting a bit too cozy with his boss. And when things start going wrong at work, Hannah can't help but wonder if she's made the biggest mistake of her life.

Melissa's Musings:

This book was an absolute joy to read. I can't believe that I didn't get to it sooner, I wish that I had. This book is just so much fun. You get to take part in Hannah's journey's first hand as she moves to Hong Kong to be with her boyfriend Sam. You get to experience her ups and downs as she adjusts to life in another new country, (she lived in London, England before moving to Hong Kong) and you get to watch her really grow into her own. 

Most of  her family and friends think she's nuts for moving half way around the world, especially for a guy. But, Hannah is determined. And I like that about her. She sticks to her guns even when those around her are not as supportive as she might like. 

There's a lot that I could relate to personally as I read this book and I think that may be why I liked it so much. I moved to Canada for a year and a half in 2010 and went through similar experiences to Hannah's. I had to adapt to life in a new country, moved away from all my friends and family, had to find a job, much like Hannah. My relationship even went through ups and downs like hers does. Not the same type of ups and downs, but ups and downs all the same.

One of the scenes I enjoyed most (because it really is true) is when Hannah is describing how empowered she feels being in a new country. She feels like she has a new chance, to start over, to redefine herself. And, she loves it in Hong Kong, she really feels at home there, and can see herself there long term. I have the same feeling about Canada so I can completely relate to this. Being in a new country really does give you a chance to start over. No one, or at least very few, depending on who you know beforehand, knows you in a new country. You can be whoever you want because no one has predefined ideas about you. Hannah took this in stride and really grew more confident as the story progressed.

I really like the pace of this book. It's told in first person, and the dialogue is so easygoing, and descriptive that it feels almost as if we're reading a journal of some sort. I really enjoy books told in this format and this one is no exception. 

The dynamic between Stacy and Hannah is great as well. It was really great that Stacy moved to Hong Kong to be with Hannah. It was great to read their interactions because I have a lifelong friend who I could see myself doing something like that with. Plus she was very supportive when I moved as well, so those characters completely clicked for me.

The only thing I didn't care for was the ending, but I don't want to mention why because it's too big of a spoiler. It's just a personal preference though, I just thought it would end differently than it did.

I'd recommend this to anyone who likes fun romances and neat adventures.

Behind the Blog: Opposites Attract

Behind The Blog is a meme to help bloggers connect their life and interests to the content showcased on their blog. The co-hosts Faye Kathe and Melissa will provide a different topic, idea, or question every week that bloggers can relate to themselves and the books, films, or media they find interesting!

Romance, or relationships are often present within books, sometimes as a main plot point, other times just as a subplot but that got me thinking. What are your relationships like? Or rather, who is your type? Do you go for the quiet, shy, boy or girl, or the loud, energetic one? Do you like bad guys/girls or good ones? In relation to books, who are your favorite couples? Or people you believe should be couples who arent?

In all honesty, I haven't had that many romantic relationships. Plenty of crushes, for sure. But actual relationships? I've only had two. One brief relationship that only lasted two months when I was 18 (the guy was an jerk and only wanted to get me to have sex with him and broke up with me when I wouldn't,) and then the relationship I'm currently in, and have been in for almost 7 years. So, I really have just gone to the two extremes on the spectrum of length of relationship, but I don't have that much experience in dating different kinds of people. 

That being said, I tend to go for the strong silent type. Which is somewhat odd, because everyone says that opposites attract. But, for the most part, I tend to be a strong silent type too. But that's okay, because my boyfriend and I are opposite in plenty of other ways. He's completely into math and science, while I'm more into the arts and languages. He took calculus and physics in high school, while I never made it past chemistry or trigonometry, but I took Creative Writing and 4 years of Spanish. He's a part of the video gamer culture, I'm a book nerd. He's more of a morning person, (generally) and I'm a night owl for the most part.

So, we're different in some ways, and similar in others. It's a good balance.

I'm very lucky. He's very romantic and sweet, and takes good care of me. Plus he loves me, and I love him. We've been through a lot in the past (nearly) 7 years. Even though it hasn't always been easy, I wouldn't trade this relationship for anything.

Bad guys have their appeal, I can't deny that, but I'm much more into good guys. I want someone who I know will treat me right at the end of the day, someone who can see the bigger picture, and won't treat me like I'm some passing interest. (Not saying that all "bad guy" types are like this though.)

Books tie in:

Hmm, choosing my favorite book couple is actually a bit tough. I don't know why, but I don't think that I pay as much attention to book couples when I read, I usually get caught up in other types of details.


The Hunger Games Trilogy: 
I was rooting for Peeta all along, so the relationship dynamic between he and Katniss is something I really liked especially with all they had to go through. I have to admit though that I did feel bad for Gale though.

Twilight:
Even though I haven't finished the series yet, I did like the relationship between Edward and Bella in Twilight.

Other Media:

Charmed:

Charmed has good examples of both good guy type relationships and bad boy ones.

For the good guy type relationships, there's Piper and Leo:

And then for the bad-guy type relationship, there's Phoebe and Cole:

So what are your relationships like?  What's your type or your favorite book couple?

We'd love to have you join us for Behind the Blog!

If you're choosing to join us for Behind the Blog don't forget to link up your post by using the Linky list below!

Are you joining us? Here are our rules:

• The hosts' Behind the Blog posts go live at midnight on Friday, GMT+0:00. Feel free to post before that, just link up on Friday!
• Feel free to make use of the button shown above, or if it clashes with your blog colours e-mail us or make your own.
• Read, write, and connect! The Linky is there for you. Make use of it!
• Last but not least, have fun!