Thursday, May 17, 2012

Behind the Blog (#2) Parents

Hello my lovely readers! It's time for another Behind the Blog post!
Behind the Blog Meme
Behind the Blog is a meme to help bloggers connect their life and interests to the content showcased on their blog. The co-hosts, Faye, Kathe, and Melissa will provide a different topic, idea, or question every week that bloggers can relate to themselves and the books, films, or other media they find interesting!
This week, because of the recent celebration of Mother's Day, we're looking at parents. Be free with it: Maybe write a good memory you have with them. Or ponder something like: How did your parents affect your life? What do you feel about other people's parents? What's it like being a parent yourself? Take it and make it your own!

I have decent relationships with my parents. They aren't perfect, I don't think any relationship is, really, but they're good enough. I have different levels of relationships with my parents though.

My relationship with my  dad:

My dad is a great father. He's always been there for me, but he's also a very laid back parent. He doesn't  try to force his dreams or wishes on me, and generally likes to let me figure life out (and make mistakes) for myself.

I hardly ever questioned my dad when I was younger. Now that I'm older, and we can debate on more in depth topics, I have more to say when my dad holds a view on something that I don't necessarily agree with.

In terms of the evolution of our relationship, I think it has grown to a more mature, adult level if you will. I'll always have respect for my dad as my father and the authority that comes with that role, but now that I'm older I think that  I'm able to appreciate him more as a person, and not just my dad. It's interesting to hear about his life before me and my sisters were around. whereas I didn't appreciate those kinds of stories as much when I was younger. This was probably because I didn't have the depth back then to appreciate him as a whole person and not just "Dad."

My dad also played a major (indirect) role in the making of this blog. If he wasn't always encouraging me to read, and always letting me get books on trips to the mall or taking me to the library, I don't think I would love reading and books as much as I do.

My relationship with my mom:

My relationship with my mom is a little different. I wouldn't say that it's great. It's...hmm, how should I put this? A work in progress?

My mom and I have never really been all that close and we just seem to clash. I'm trying my best to continue working on having a better relationship with her. It's not always easy, I'll admit.

Other parents in my life:
I have wonderful relationships with some of my friend's parents and my boyfriend's parents as well, so I consider myself extremely lucky in that respect.

I'm not a parent myself. I hope that if I become a parent some day I can take all of the experiences and advice I've learned about from my parents and my friend's parents that I can be at least half as good a parent as they are.

Books/Media Tie in:

I had a bit of trouble thinking of some books that really explore parent child relationships but here are a couple:

Winter Garden
Click here to read Goodreads description of Winter Garden

The evolution of the mother daughter relationship is particularly powerful in Winter Garden.
Lucky Man: A Memoir
Goodreads Description of Lucky Man
Michael J. Fox talks at length in his memoir Lucky Man about his role as a parent. He also explains how his diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease has influenced how his children see him as a father, and his parenting style.
Strange Places
Goodreads blurb for Strange Places
In Strange places, the main character Tayna, is "head girl" at an orphanage. She is thrown into a world of magic and fantasy when she has to escape from the orphanage and find out who she really is. She finds out that her parents are still alive and that she isn't truly an orphan and goes on a journey to find them.
There you have it, there are just a few books that explore parent child relationships.
What books have you read or films have seen where the main themes are parenting?

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Anonymous said...

I think everyone has to go through that realisation that hey, you guys have an identity that's not "Mum" or "Dad"?!? Some people sooner than others.
My Dad always encouraged me to read too, and it's definitely something I plan to pass on to my children someday!

Melissa said...

@alexandrasscriblings: That is so true! It's just a bit of a shock sometimes to finally come to that realization.

Kathe (Good Lit and Green Tea) said...

Growing up, I thought it was natural for girls to be closer to their mothers and boys, closer to their fathers, but after meeting other people and learning psychology, I've realized that that certainly isn't the case. Having different types or levels of relationships with one's parents isn't wrong, in any case, but completely natural. :)

It's great to know that your relationship with your father has matured since you were younger. I think mine with my father has, too, and I completely get having a view practically opposing one's father's. I remember arguing with my father about gender and sexuality recently; I was coming from a psychological point of view while he came from, well, the old-fashioned view. We didn't resolve it, but it's good to know that we have the maturity to talk about such things. Same as yours! :)

As for your mother, I'm glad that you're trying to improve your relationship little by little. It's a process, definitely, but it takes two to tango. I certainly hope she's doing the same thing and trying to improve her relationship with you!

Thanks so much to your father for motivating you to make your blog, however indirectly, by the way! :) Send him love from Faye and me. Have a lovely weekend. :)

Melissa said...


I love your description of your father's point of view as "the old fashioned view" I think that's a perfect description of how my fathers views are sometimes too! When my debates with him get too intense or reach a stalemate I just sort of let them go unresolved too.

I will pass on the love to my dad for sure. :) I hope you have a wonderful weekend too! :)

Daydreaming_Star said...

This was a lovely post Melissa! I loved reading it and getting to know you that little bit more! Your dad sounds really great and I'm so glad that he encouraged you to read books because that is why you're here with us today and how we came to meet! :-)

I find it interesting to have that relationship with your mum but I totally get that. Sometimes it's just not easy but I'm glad to hear that you try and sometimes that's all it needs =]

Thanks for sharing <3

Melissa said...

@Daydreamingstar: Thanks Faye!

Ashna Banga said...

Hi Melissa.. thanks for dropping by my post! I enjoyed reading yours too, especially how your dad encouraged reading and had something to do with the blog too! I think I know what you mean by understanding parents as, well, not just parents, but as individuals. That way, we learn and can understand more about them.
It's good there are other parents too, apart from your own, who're there for you. :)

kimba88 said...

My Mom and I will never be best friends, we get along, but i never connected with her the way I did with my maternal grandmother, she and I were so close, and i always felt like whatever I did or said she'd be there for me..thanks for sharing a little of yourself.

Melissa said...

@Ashna: You're welcome! Thanks for stopping by and reading mine as well. :)

@Kimba: I was close with my grandmother as well. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog!