Review: The Littlest Angel

Title: The Littlest Angel

Author: Heidi Chandler

Series: N/A

Publisher: Self Published

Published: March 27, 2012

Format: Print Copy

Pages: 174

Dates Read: July 29-30 2017

Source: Received from the author in
exchange for an honest review

Add on Goodreads

My Rating: 4 Stars

Synopsis: 

Four years ago I had the perfect life. I had a great career, a doting husband, and a loving family. Life couldn’t get any better, so my husband and I decided, after four years of carefree marital bliss and a great deal of hesitation, it was finally time to start a family.
My pregnancy happened quickly and mirrored my life - happy, healthy, and full of love, even dubbed “perfect” by one of my doctors. That all changed when my water broke two weeks before my due date, and I was blindsided by the ugly reality that perfect doesn’t exist.
What followed was a tortuous hospital stay, where I learned my daughter’s umbilical cord had wrapped tightly around her neck, causing her to die in my womb. I had a grueling delivery that scarred me emotionally and physically. I tried desperately to move past the shock, understand what went wrong, and say goodbye to my only child.
I spent months blaming myself, relentlessly searching for the why and how, cursing God and trying to comprehend what I had done to deserve such pain. I was a recluse filled with guilt and self-hatred. I carried my daughter’s ashes everywhere I went. I became obsessed with having another baby, certain that the only way life would get better was if I could replace my daughter.
Reluctantly forced to return to work and the real world, I struggled to find normal. Yet over time, through the kindness of strangers and friends, I realized that there is a method to the madness of life, and I began to find peace. I became pregnant again, and, though I longed for a girl, now have two little boys that taught me that life moves on and it’s possible to love again.

Melissa's Musings

First let me preface this review by saying that I have had this book on my shelf waiting to be read for far longer than I care to admit. Also, let me preface this by saying that I have never been pregnant, nor have I experienced the loss of a child.

This might leave some of you wondering, "Well, why would you read a book like this if you can't really relate to it?"

Simple. I've always been interested in people's stories, people's lives. And this is quite the story.

This is a story of intense loss, and grief. But also a story of the pains and joys of picking up life to move forward and onward, but not away from what happened. 

This is told in a raw, real, down to earth way. The author has a writing style that is relatable, and not stiffed or forced. In some of the most intense moments in the book, I found myself laughing out loud, not because something was funny, but just from the fact that the author was so candid in  her responses to such intense situations. 

I liked that the author chose to show the whole gamut of her emotions, from awkwardness to panic, to fear, to grief, and all that run in between, rather than hiding behind the "appropriate responses" that other people expected her to display. Is it "normal" to carry around your daughter's ashes with you as you go about your daily life? No, probably not, but it was an honest and true need of the author. And the fact that she let herself do that probably helped her to heal in a way that she may not have had she not allowed herself to do something like that for fear of it being strange or odd.

Though the author does a good job of including bits and pieces of her husband's experience I think the book would have been that much more powerful if we had heard a bit of his perpective in his own words, perhaps if he had his own chapter. Losses like those of stillbirth are often limited to the woman's experience, and it would have been interesting to see this from both parent's perspectives directly.

This is an intense, quick read that's well worth the time.

Review: The Ghosts of Nagasaki

Title: The Ghosts of Nagasaki

Author: Daniel Clausen

Publisher: Self Published

Published: December 8, 2012

Format: Paperback

Pages: 248

Dates Read: April 1-15

Source: Received from the author

in exchange for an honest review

Add to Your TBR List on Goodreads

My Rating: 3 Stars

Snippet That Stuck With Me: "For a moment they are solitary stars, tied together by an invisible shoelace. "(pg. 108)

Synopsis:

One night a foreign business analyst in Tokyo sits down in his spacious high rise apartment and begins typing something. The words pour out and exhaust him. He soon realizes that the words appearing on his laptop are memories of his first days in Nagasaki four years ago. 

Nagasaki was a place full of spirits, a garrulous Welsh roommate, and a lingering mystery. 

Somehow he must finish the story of four years ago--a story that involves a young Japanese girl, the ghost of a dead Japanese writer, and a mysterious island. He must solve this mystery while maneuvering the hazards of middle management, a cruel Japanese samurai, and his own knowledge that if he doesn't solve this mystery soon his heart will transform into a ball of steel, crushing his soul forever. Though he wants to give up his writing, though he wants to let the past rest, within his compulsive writing lies the key to his salvation.

Melissa's Musings:

The first word I would use to describe this book would be confusing. It delves into the story right away, with very little background info. Which is good for setting a fast pace, but not so great for someone like me who enjoys the buildup of a backstory. At times I found myself not wanting to pick it back up again. But, once I did I was able to be pulled in enough to keep reading.

This is a stream of consciousness novel of sorts. Or maybe a novel with multiple streams of consciousness?

The book shifts perspective a lot, between the protagonists present day life as a business man in Tokyo, and his memories of his life four years ago when he first came to Japan to teach English. The story is also mixed in with what could be perceived by some as delusions or hallucinations. The story jumps can be unsettling, but they're also part of what draws you in in the first place.

I never really related to the main character on a personal level. There's not much told about him as a person, except that he is an orphan, who went through the foster care system and had it kind of rough. You actually don't even ever learn his name. I only knew it from an insert that the author sent along with the book. 

My thought is that by not telling us his name and by telling the story from the first person perspective, the author might have been trying to make the story, as well as the pain the protagonist is running from more universal.

The story itself is somewhat dark, there's a lot of pain, and unresolved grief and a loss of his sense of self, on the part of the protagonist. It's likely why he attacts all of these ghosts, and other figments of his imagination, like Mr. Sparkles, a glittery dinosaur.

Mr. Sparkles actually made me laugh out loud. I thought of him as an alternate funnier, version of Mikey Welsh, the protagonists' roomate.

Along with ghosts and glittery dinosaurs, there are other added elements of magical realism in the book. The magical realism element is further solidified  with the introduction of an island where one can go to procure and grow a brand new heart,fed by memories. This magical island seems to be some sort of limbo for the protagonist, between the current version of himself and the version of himself from 4 years ago.

There's a strange religious side to the story as well. One of the characters that Pierce attracts is a man who follows him around claiming that he's an apostate. In one scene the protagonist conjures up more of his ghosts who take this character and put him onto a cross in the middle of the ocean, and Pierce feels it his duty to rescue this man, against impossible odds. Then there's a secretive backstory that Pierce's first foster family were evangelicals, who were somehow horrible to him, and that the family who eventually adopt him are also particularly religious as well. I found the religious undertone confusing and at times disturbing.

The main message that I gathered from the story is that it's about a person who was trying to escape the pain of never having a place to really call home, and trying to recover from the death of the one person in life who seemed to truly understand him.

This story, while confusing, was told in an unusual and unique way.

Review: The Five Lives of Our Cat Zook by Joanne Rocklin

Title: The Five Lives  Of Our Cat Zook

Author:  Joanne Rocklin

Publisher: Harry N. Abrams

Published:  April 1, 2012

Format: Hardcover

Pages:  240

Source: Won in a Goodreads  Giveaway

Read:  July 31 2012

In a Few Words: A sweet, colorful, fun story

My Rating: 5 wonderful stars

Goodreads: Add it to your to-read shelf

Goodreads Synopsis: 

n this warmhearted middle-grade novel, Oona and her brother, Fred, love their cat Zook (short for Zucchini), but Zook is sick. As they conspire to break him out of the vet’s office, convinced he can only get better at home with them, Oona tells Fred the story of Zook’s previous lives, ranging in style from fairy tale to grand epic to slice of life. Each of Zook’s lives has echoes in Oona’s own family life, which is going through a transition she’s not yet ready to face. Her father died two years ago, and her mother has started a relationship with a man named Dylan—whom Oona secretly calls “the villain.” The truth about Dylan, and about Zook’s medical condition, drives the drama in this loving family story.

Praise for The Five Lives of Our Cat Zook

“Oona’s character is a combination of Harriet the Spy in curiosity and Anastasia in spunk. Another emotionally satisfying outing from Rocklin; hanky recommended.”

—Kirkus Reviews

Melissa's Musings:

I loved this book. The characters are loveable, the wordplay is fun, there are tons of interesting theories told only the way a child would tell them. I loved it for the variety in perspective. It was such a nice change from all the YA and Adult fiction that I normally read. 

In this story we meet Freddy and Oona, brother and sister who are being raised by their mother after their father's death. They have a cat, named Zook, who has become a beloved member of their family. When Zook suddenly gets sick, it brings back memories for Oona of the time when her father is sick too, so she has to deal with all of those memories and emotions that she's kept hidden for so long.

This book is full of stories within stories. It's told from Oona's perspective, and man is she one smart kiddo. She has very creative and inventive theories. One is the Big Whopper theory, where all the lies people tell are color coded for the kind of lie that they are. Black Whoppers are meant to hurt someone, White Whoppers are meant to make someone feel better. 

Or, there's the name theory, in which Oona declares that everyone's name is perfect for them, no matter  what. Here's a quote to explain the theory: 

"Gramma Dee's name is easy Dee RW (rhymes with) bee=honey=sweet like candy. Gramma Dee likes to make Russian taffy, which she learned from her Russian grandmother, who was born in Russia." (pg. 49)

I think what she's trying to say is that people grow into their name, or the meaning of it. They personify that meaning. I think to some extent that becomes true after a while.

I love the wordplay in this book. The play on words with Zook (the cat's) name. Then there's the fact that the kids get paid in fried Zuchinni and pizza is great, and so are the cute word games that Oona plays with Freddy to teach him to read. I love when authors take the time to add these small but important touches to their stories because it helps you become that more attached to the characters.

Oona also has a lot of responsibility for such a little girl. She picks her brother up from school, she's teaching him to read, (with rhyming games and pictures, which I loved) and she even has an after school job. She gets paid in food, but still. For someone so young, that's a lot to handle, but Oona handles most of what comes her way pretty well. She isn't too fond of her mother's new boyfriend, but for a girl whose beloved father passed away that's not a surprise.

Among  all these inventive theories and stories about cats who have 9 lives there are a lot of real life observations and lessons which are told in only the way a child can see them. Children have such a different view of the world than adults. There's such innocence, and yet such depth, as well as insight. It's easy to forget how much insight kids have until you read a story like this. And when you do, boy can it pack a punch.

 I feel a bit silly admitting this, but I found myself tearing up at the end of this novel, not because of what happens to the characters, but because of the depth and richness of the lessons that Oona learns and the changes that she goes through throughout the course of the book. Now, it takes a lot for me to cry at a book. I have to be really invested in the story, and this was definitely a story that I was invested in. It's got a little bit of everything. It's a sweet story about family, love, loss, friendships, and growing up. I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys heartfelt stories.

What about you, do you have any interesting theories that you'd like to share?