Review: My Year As A Clown

Hello everyone! Welcome to my tour stop for My Year As A Clown which includes my review.

Title: My Year As A Clown

Author: Robert Steven Williams

Publisher: Against The Grain Press

Published: December 20, 2012

Pages: 272

Format: E-book

Source: Received in Exchange for an Honest Review

My Rating: 3 Stars

Synopsis: 

Silver Medal Winner for Popular Fiction from the Independent Publisher Book Awards.

With My Year as a Clown, Williams introduces us to Chuck Morgan, a new kind of male hero—imperfect and uncertain—fumbling his way forward in the aftermath of the abrupt collapse his 20-year marriage.

Initially, Chuck worries he’ll never have a relationship again, that he could stand in the lobby of a brothel with a hundred dollar bill plastered to his forehead and still not get lucky. But as his emotionally raw, 365-day odyssey unfolds, Chuck gradually relearns to live on his own, navigating the minefield of issues faced by the suddenly single—new routines, awkward dates, and even more awkward sex.

Edited by Joy Johannessen (Alice Sebold, Michael Cunningham, Amy Bloom), My Year As a Clown will attract fans of the new breed of novelists that includes Nick Hornby, Jonathan Tropper and Tom Perrotta. Like others in that distinguished group, Robert Steven Williams delivers a painfully honest glimpses into the modern male psyche while writing about both sexes with equal ease and grace in a way that’s both hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time.

Melissa's Musings:

I have very mixed feelings about this book. What initially drew me to the story was the fact that this was divorce told from the male perspective. So often, we read stories that are centered on women and their heartbreak and pain after divorce, rarely do we see the same situation told from a male perspective. The story itself is interesting, and the writing flows really well. It's written in a journalistic style, chronicling the first year after Chuck's wife leaves him. Sometimes the style can be clunky or awkward, but this is executed well.

There were things I liked about Chuck, and things that annoyed me. I liked the fact that he actually acknowledged his emotions instead of always trying to bury them. He did a lot of that too, with drugs and alcohol, but there were times when he tried to work through his feelings and actually worked on his own self improvement. It may have been with alterior motives involving women, but there was a genuine edge to it as well.

One of the more frustrating aspects of his character was that many of the major life events that he recalls are hinged on the football season. Maybe this was the author's way of making it more palatable, but I found it irritating. He and his wife's honeymoon was pushed back a day due to a football game. Another time, Claudia proposes that they move to England, and again, it's declined on his part in majority (I felt) due to football playoffs.

Claudia was just as frustrating as Chuck's character, but in a different way. We don't really see much of her, mostly just Chuck's recollections. And there's not really a buildup leading up to her departure. Although if I were her and married to someone who pushed back important life events due to sports, I'd probably be peeved too. There is a lot more to the reasons they split than that, but that's a sore point throughout the novel.

Both of them come out to be jerks, (although Chuck does redeem himself by the end.) and there were times where I just wanted to smack both of them because they couldn't get it together.

I wish that the music aspect had been explored more thoroughly. I felt kind of smothered by Chuck's writing material. I also didn't care for some of the religious/spiritual aspects of the book. I understand that it was Chuck exploring his heritage and his connection to that, but I feel that the whole drama with the rabbi and especially the twist on that were completely unneccessary. I was more interested in hearing about past endeavors with musicians, and really liked the interactions between him and Sally.

Overall,  I'm still not sure how I feel about this. I liked the writing a lot, but some of the plot points were unneccesary. I'd be mildly curious to see what happens further with Chuck. All in all, the book was okay. Not bad, not great, just middle of the road for me.

That being said, if you're looking for a unique perspective on divorce, I'd recommend giving this a try.

The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling.

Title: The Casual Vacancy

Author: J.K. Rowling

Publisher: Little, Brown and Company

Published: September 27, 2012

Format: Hardcover

Pages: 503

Source:  Library

Read: November 1-4, 2012

In A Few Words: Disappointing and Depressing

My Rating: 2 Stars

Goodreads: Add this to your TBR Shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

When Barry Fairbrother dies in his early forties, the town of Pagford is left in shock.

Pagford is, seemingly, an English idyll, with a cobbled market square and an ancient abbey, but what lies behind the pretty façade is a town at war.

Rich at war with poor, teenagers at war with their parents, wives at war with their husbands, teachers at war with their pupils...Pagford is not what it first seems.

And the empty seat left by Barry on the parish council soon becomes the catalyst for the biggest war the town has yet seen. Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations?

The Casual Vacancy is J.K. Rowling’s first novel for adults.

Melissa's Musings:

I want to preface this review by saying, I love J.K. Rowling. Really, I do. But, I most certainly did not love this book.

When I first saw the cover for this book I thought, "That's it? What a boring, bland cover."

Now, it makes perfect sense. A boring cover to go with a bland book. I'm usually a quick reader, but I truly struggled in making my way through this book. I had to coach myself through each hundred pages. I strongly considered calling it "DNF" at one point, but I soldiered on. I can't honestly say that I'm happy I finished it. 

The first fifty pages is interesting, because we're all trying to figure out what's going to happen to the town now that Barry Fairbrother is dead. There are a lot of unkind, even vindictive  thoughts at his death, which initially, are intriguing. What these thoughts end up being are a precursor to all the pettiness and jealousy that the townspeople have for one another. After that initial 50 pages, it feels like the rest of the book just descends into pettiness and jealousy with teenage angst thrown in.

There are a lot of different issues thrown into this book, and sometimes it feels like it's just too much altogether. There's the politics of course, but then there are subjects like rape, incest, drug use, suicide, cutting, adoption, relationship issues, drinking, etc, the list goes on. It almost felt like Rowling was trying to cram every negative subject that she couldn't talk about in the world of Harry Potter into this book. 

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There's also a lot of swearing in the book. I have absolutely no problem with swearing in adult novels. Even in Young Adult novels, mild-moderate swearing is fine with me. I've read a few reviews where readers have a problem with the fact that there's any swearing at all, which I don't really understand given that this is an adult book. The swearing itself doesn't bother me, but it again feels like Rowling was just trying too hard. There's a lot of it, to the point of bordering on slightly excessive, and it just feels unnecessary in some spots.

There are also too many characters in this novel. There are too many relationships to navigate through. My guess is that Rowling was trying to underscore the point that everyone, especially in small towns is connected, and that something like a death can have a ripple effect and affect many people in a variety of different ways. I completely understand that. I don't feel it was necessary to use quite so many characters/families to make this point.

One character that I did feel drawn to, in a way, was Fats. He has this idea of being his genuine, true self, no matter what that means. I found this to be an odd concept, for a teenager that is. The teen years, and into one's 20's  are meant for finding out who you truly want to be and who you really are, and it appears that Fats has done that. It is explained that he has spent a lot of time inside his own head, getting to know himself and the layers of his own personality. He doesn't completely follow through with this personal ideology of his throughout the book, but for the most part, he sticks to it. It's nice to see someone taking charge of themselves and their actions, especially a character as young as he is.

As I mentioned before, the first 50 pages of the book are great. But then as you slog through the rest, it's just depressing, vindictive, and somewhat boring. I didn't feel anything emotional at the end of the book. I won't spoil what happens, but lets just say it leaves you feeling somewhat depressed. It left me thinking "What was the point of even reading this?"

The only thing that saved this book from getting a 1 star rating was the quality of the writing. As usual, Rowling is able to compose intense, descriptive passages. For example:

"Disgust rose in Samantha like vomit. She wanted to seize the overwarm cluttered room and mash it between her hands, until the royal china, and the gas fire, and the gilt-framed pictures of Miles broke into jagged pieces; then, with the wizened and painted Maureen trapped and squalling inside the wreckage, she wanted to heave it, like a celestial shot-putter, away into the sunset. The crushed lounge and the doomed crone inside it, soared in her imagination through the heavens, plunging into the limitless ocean, leaving Samantha alone in the endless stillness of the universe." (Rowling, pg. 275)

 I could see that in my mind, as I read it. Unfortunately, the writing wasn't quite enough to make me truly  like this book.

I'll admit, there had to have been some expectations that filtered into my reading of this novel. I don't think there couldn't have been. But, overall, this just falls flat on it's own, J.K Rowling or not. Maybe if she had published other adult works between the Harry Potter books her readers would be more used to this serious side of her, and understand her adult works a bit more. Since the Harry Potter world was her sole focus for so long, though, I think it may be slightly too difficult for us as readers to disentangle ourselves and look at a book that contrasts so starkly with HP. It might have also helped to not have your very first book center on something as serious as politics.

Overall, I would say that this book is very well written, if boring. I would recommend checking it out from the library or borrowing it from a friend rather than buying it, though.

34 Pieces of You by Carmen Rodrigues is an Intense Read

Title: 34 Pieces of You

Author: Carmen Rodrigues

Publisher:  Simon Pulse

Published:   September 4, 2012

Format: Hardcover

Pages: 336

Source: Sent to me by the author 

Read: September 22, 2012

In  A Few Words: Intense, and powerful

My Rating: 5 Stars

Goodreads: Add This to Your TBR Shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

A dark and moving novel—reminiscent of Thirteen Reasons Why—about the mystery surrounding a teenage girl’s fatal overdose.

There was something about Ellie... Something dangerous. Charismatic. Broken. Jake looked out for her. Sarah followed her lead. And Jess kept her distance, and kept watch.

Now Ellie’s dead, and Jake, Sarah, and Jess are left to pick up the pieces. All they have are 34 clues she left behind. 34 strips of paper hidden in a box beneath her bed. 34 secrets of a brief and painful life.

Jake, Sarah, and Jess all feel responsible for what happened to Ellie, and all three have secrets of their own. As they begin to confront the darkest truths about themselves, they will also find out what Ellie herself had been hiding all along..

Melissa's Musings:

All I can say is wow. This book is intense, to say the least.

It touches on so many different issues. In some books, this might be a bad thing, meaning that there's not enough focus and it feels a little aimless, or just like a laundry list of issues to spout off. That's not the case here. While there are lot of issues mentioned within the first chapter or two,  it's done in a natural way, so that you don't get bogged down in them.

This book touches on everything from divorce, to drinking, to sexuality, to sexual abuse, and several other complex issues. 

It's a very hard book to put down because you get so drawn in, so fast. Or at least I did. And the characters are all so interconnected, in ways that you wouldn't even think of. Ellie is the magnet, the one that draws them all in. To her, and to each other. I think that Ellie enjoyed that, in a way that it gave her power. But, at the same time she was hurting and lost and lonely, even surrounded by all these people that it was just too much for her. 

In reading it you might say that Sarah was affected the most, because she attempted suicide with Ellie, but survived, so the survivors guilt must be horrible. Which, I'm sure it is a horrible thing. But, I wouldn't necessarily say that she was the one who suffered the most. I think they all did, in their own way, each equally painful and significant.

I felt the most for Tommy and Jess, because they were the ones who had plenty of secrets of their own to hide, and they were with people who didn't necessarily openly want to be with them, or who were lusting after other people. I'm not mentioning other names because I don't want to give away major plot points or spoilers. Lets just say that when you read it you might be surprised at just how interconnected they all are with each other and some relationships develop that you might not expect,  that you'll be rooting for.

The evolution of the characters is intense, as these painful events draw out memories that they want to forget. The evolution of all the characters is significant in it's own way, even the more minor characters like Jake and Ellie's parents. It was good to see the book from both the kids and the adults perspective, which can be rare for YA books. Usually the parents are distant, or not around at all, and in this case, while they were not the major characters, they played more of a significant part in the story.

I also really liked the way that the story was set up, structurally. Each of the chapters was told from a different character's point of view. But, prefacing each of the chapters was one of Ellie's 34 secrets that she kept in a box under her bed. They were secrets about all of them, what she really felt. And each one set up the coming chapter perfectly. I also like how the chapters are titled either "Before" or "After" because I think that's a mindset that many people can get into when a loved one dies. There's life before it happens, and then life after.

I am very glad that I got the opportunity to read this book and I can't wait to see what comes next from Carmen Rodrigues. If you're looking for something to make you think, this is it.

Have you read this? If so, what did you think?

Sparks Off You by Anita Felicelli

Title:  Sparks Off You

Author: Anita Felicelli

Publisher: Henflower Press

Published: July 11 2012

Format: Paperback 

Pages: 300

Source: Received from author 

in exchange for an honest review

Read: September 17-19 2012

In A Few Words: Dark and Twisty

My Rating:  4 Stars

Goodreads: Add This Book to Your TBR shelf

Goodreads Synopsis:

Alienated and full of fire, two sisters navigate a chaotic world of sex, drugs, and dissolving identities after the loss of their mother. The younger sister, Julie Randeria, discovers that her assimilation into the world of Silicon Valley’s teenagers only works when she lets go of her personality. But where does personality end and madness begin?

When the mythology that barely holds her family together unravels, Julie is driven to the edge of unreality. Meanwhile, the limits of her sister and father's empathy are tested. Beautiful,unusual language sweeps readers into the consciousness and experiences of ordinary people struggling with what it means to be perceived as "normal" today and the consequences of cultural alienation.

Lyrical and provocative, "Sparks Off You" is a coming of age novel that follows an Indian-American girl trying to find herself as an artist in the Bay Area at the dawn of the tech boom.

Melissa's Musings:

This book holds up very well, and is very well written. It is dark, and twisty, full of pain, sorrow, searching, experimenting, and madness. That being said, it is slightly predictable at times, which is why it didn't get the full five stars from me. Nonetheless, it is a very good book. 

The story explores the lives of Julie and Maya, two very bright, if somewhat troubled girls. Their mother has passed away, and their father is distant, more focused on his work than he is on them. Both Julie and Maya are very smart, Julie has skipped a few grades in school, so she is a bit younger than her classmates, and this shows through in her personality and the way that she interacts with them. 

Julie is a very complex character, she's innocent, in a way, but there's something different about her. She knows it, and so do the people around her. She seems to feel things a lot more intensely than others do and it shows.  There's one scene in particular where she is upset because she thinks that a  boy she likes is more interested in her friend, and she wants him to be interested in her. She starts kicking a graveyard wall and keeps kicking until her feet start to bleed. It's a very powerful scene and you can tell that there's something really dark about Julie, even though she seems innocent.

It's actually quite interesting to look at the progression of the two sisters over the course of the book. At first Maya is the reckless and rowdy one, smoking pot, having sex with her boyfriends, driving crazily, and Julie is the meek, timid, "good girl. Then as the book goes on, they flip positions. Julie descends into drugs and sex, and Maya takes the more straightforward path. One thing I didn't like about all this is that Maya has no compassion for what happens to Julie. (I can't expand on what happens because it gives too much away, but lets just say that it's intense.) Maya plays the victim and the poor me card talking about how she had to take care of Julie all those years and this is what happens and on and on. Then she tells Julie to just get over what's happened to her and stop pretending that she's sick, basically. It's obvious that she has a real problem, but Maya refuses to acknowledge that. 

It's similar to how her father feels about what happens to Julie. He doesn't want to believe there's anything wrong. But, once he does realize that there's something there that needs to be dealt with, he is supportive in his own way and doesn't brush her off in the same way that Maya does. I liked Maya a lot less after the things she said and her actions toward Julie being sick.

There is a lot of great imagery in this book. It's mainly explored through Julie's paintings, and some strange drug trips, too. The colors are bright and vivid, and the descriptions take you right to the pictures in your mind's eye. I also  appreciated the part where Ram tries his hand at painting in an effort to understand Julie and as a way of welcoming her back.

I don't often talk about covers of books, but I have to mention that I don't feel the connection of this cover to the story. Maybe there was a line, or a subtle hint that I missed somewhere in the story, but it just doesn't quite seem to fit. Neither does the title, for me anyway. But, that's just my thought on it. I've read some great books with titles and covers I didn't really feel a connection to, and that just seems to be the case here.

It's definitely an adventure through the teenage  mind, filled with longing, experimentation, searching, rebellion, struggle, and a bit of madness. 

*I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.*

Crank by Ellen Hopkins

Title: Crank (Crank #1)

Author: Ellen Hopkins

Publisher:  Margaret K. McElderry Books

Published: October  5 2004
Format: Paperback

Pages: 537

Source:   Library

Read: August 20-21 2012

In A Few Words: Intense, different

My Rating: 4 Stars

Goodreads:Add to your TBR pile

Goodreads Synopsis:

In Crank, Ellen Hopkins chronicles the turbulent and often disturbing relationship between Kristina, a character based on her own daughter, and the "monster," the highly addictive drug crystal meth, or "crank." Kristina is introduced to the drug while visiting her largely absent and ne'er-do-well father. While under the influence of the monster, Kristina discovers her sexy alter-ego, Bree: "there is no perfect daughter, / no gifted high school junior, / no Kristina Georgia Snow. / There is only Bree." Bree will do all the things good girl Kristina won't, including attracting the attention of dangerous boys who can provide her with a steady flow of crank. 

Soon, her grades plummet, her relationships with family and friends deteriorate, and she needs more and more of the monster just to get through the day. Kristina hits her lowest point when she is raped by one of her drug dealers and becomes pregnant as a result. Her decision to keep the baby slows her drug use, but doesn't stop it, and the author leaves the reader with the distinct impression that Kristina/Bree may never be free from her addiction. 

Melissa's Musings:

I've never read anything by Hopkins before, so this was very different for me. It's an intense read.

I have to admit, it took me a while to get used to the fact that it's written in verse, but I really grew to like it. I liked the way that writing it in verse allowed Hopkins to play with the words and their arrangements on the page, like the formation of V's when Kristina is talking about her virginity, or the cascading slopes when she describes her descent into madness. I also liked how in some of the pages, the words are spaced in such a way that you can get two different meanings out of them. If you read them all together, as part of the story, it can mean one thing, but then when you read the separated words on their own in a line it can mean something completely different. Writing the story this way really makes you think.

I did feel bad for Kristina at one point, because it seemed like her family was kind of dysfunctional, and they really didn't pay all that much attention to her. I also felt for her when she got raped, because that's just wrong. But in the end, she put herself in her situation with the choices she made and she's the only one who can help herself out of the drug addicted haze, so I felt, I don't know, indifferent to her in that regard I guess.

I have to admit that I was disappointed right of the bat at the very first page at one thing in particular. I suppose I'm the only one to blame for this since had I read the synopsis first I would have known already. But, everyone raves about Ellen Hopkins so I didn't even think to read the synopsis before starting this. Since it's in the synopsis anyway, I don't really think I'm spoiling things by saying that I was disappointed to read about "the baby" in the book on the very first page prior to even beginning the story. I think putting that out there on the first page wasn't really necessary. It spoils a major plot point right in the beginning. You could have let the story build up to that without announcing it beforehand. It would have been more effective if there had just been a note added at the end.  But, I suppose it doesn't really matter either way, it was just a little annoying as a spoiler when I first read it.

Overall, I really enjoyed the story and am looking forward to reading more of Hopkins' work. I'd recommend this to anyone looking to try reading a new and unique way of writing a story.